Episode Summary
Does the word “networking” make your shoulders tense? I get it. Even as a high-performer who understands its value, the process can often feel forced, transactional, or just plain exhausting.
But here is the reality:
85% of jobs are filled through connections, not job boards.
In this episode, I’m breaking down exactly how I landed 7 out of 8 jobs (including Spotify and HBO) through networking—without being salesy or inauthentic. I’ll show you why the people you’d least expect (like a real estate lawyer) might open the biggest doors, and give you word-for-word scripts you can actually use to reach out with confidence.
Stop Cringing at “Networking”: Why Your Next Big Break is Hiding in Your Weakest Ties
85% of jobs are filled through connections, not job boards. If the word networking makes your stomach drop, it’s time for a reframe.
Most people treat the word “networking” like a dirty word. It feels fake. It feels salesy. It feels like asking for a favor you haven’t earned from someone who is far too busy to talk to you.
But here is the reality check: 85% of jobs are secured through networking. In my own career — from New York City to Germany to Singapore — I landed seven of my eight roles because of my network. It wasn’t because I was the most qualified person on paper; it was because I was connected.
If you want to move from cringing to connecting, you have to dismantle the myths holding you back and understand the power of the “unexpected connection.”
The 3 “Dreads” Holding You Back
When I coach clients through career pivots, we almost always hit the same three mental blocks. Do any of these sound familiar?
1. “I have nothing to offer.”
You look at a senior leader and think, “Who am I to interrupt them?” The Reframe: None of us got here alone. Most successful leaders want to pay it forward to honor the mentors who helped them. Furthermore, you aren’t coming empty-handed — you are trading perspective. To a senior leader, your “boots on the ground” insight or cross-industry experience is a fresh angle they don’t have.
2. “I don’t want to be salesy.”
You’re afraid of sounding like a walking pitch. The Reframe: If you’re genuinely interested, you don’t need a script. The moment you stop trying to be interesting and start being interested, the awkwardness fades. Instead of a pitch, name your curiosity: “I’ve been exploring my next step and I was curious how you’ve navigated your career so far.”
3. “I’m not ready yet.”
You want to wait until your portfolio is perfect or your story is polished. The Reframe: This is the “I’m Not Ready” Myth. People actually love being part of a work-in-progress. If everything is already perfect, there’s nothing left for a mentor to contribute. Being “in the middle” of a transition gives people a clear way to help you.
The Magic of “Weak Ties” and Unexpected Connections
Most people make the mistake of only networking within their own “pond.” If you’re in marketing, you talk to marketing people.
But a famous MIT-led study found that the biggest career breakthroughs don’t usually come from your inner circle — they come from weak ties. These are the loose, unexpected connections who live in different worlds than you do.
My “Lawyer to MTV” Story: When I was a fresh grad in the U.S., I was hitting a wall. I mentioned my dream of working in entertainment marketing to a family friend who was a real estate lawyer. I could have thought, “Why bother? He’s in a completely different world.” But because I spoke up, his memory jogged. He knew someone at Spike TV. That led to a contact at MTV, and suddenly, I was working my dream job in Times Square.
The Lesson: Networking is not a straight line; it’s a chain reaction. Every meaningful conversation should lead to one or two more. Always ask: “This was incredibly helpful. Is there anyone else you think I should talk to?”
3 Rules for Networking That Actually Works
Before you send that next LinkedIn message, keep these three principles in mind:
- Get Ruthlessly Specific: Don’t say, “I’m open to anything.” That is too heavy for someone else’s imagination. Instead, give them a target: “I’m looking for a marketing role at Coca-Cola, ideally on the brand team.” Now, their brain has a specific door to look for.
- Do the Homework: Check their recent posts. Understand their role. When you show up informed, you aren’t just taking time; you’re showing respect.
- Ask Open Questions: Avoid the closed question: “Do you have any openings?” (The answer is almost always “not right now”). Instead, ask: “How would you recommend I explore this space further?” This turns the conversation into a discovery session.
Your Challenge for Today
Networking isn’t a task to be completed; it’s a web of relationships to be built. You don’t have to do it all at once.
Reach out to just one person today. An alum, a former colleague, or a friend from three jobs ago. One message. One conversation. That is all it takes to change your trajectory.
Ready to stop cringing and start connecting?
From listening to action: here’s your cheat sheet.
I’ve created a cheat sheet with reflection questions, your actionable blueprint to turn this episode into real-life progress.
Ready to take the leap? Let’s chase that wave and elevate your career and life.
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